A quick thought

What if snakes had boobs?

Think of how hard that would make slithering and how awkwardly they would move.

Now laugh.

Happy holidays everyone.

Crackers, Parallel Universes, and Nietzsche

Sitting alone on a Friday night is the perfect time for reflection and self-pity. I don't know why, but I get the feeling that something major is about to happen. Good or bad, I'm not sure. But something is in the works.

My phone recently autocorrected itself to, "I are crackers," instead of "I ate crackers." Thank you phone for making me be crackers...which to me sounds like bonkers (a great word that is severely underused).

I believe the proper term for Black Friday is African American Friday. (Chiggers = Chegroes.)

I recently witnessed a wonderful Freudian slip. My friend tried to say, "She annoys me a little bit," but instead said, "She annoys me a little bitch."

Is it bad that I get a lot of my blogging material from tweets or texts I've sent within the past week?

I finally made a Danny Elfman Pandora station and it is spectacularly epic. Now even the most mundane tasks seem like an adventure.

Do you ever wonder if there are parallel universes that develop after you make a really important decision? I just find it so interesting to picture myself following through with the opposite decision and thinking of how my life would be. The older we get the more important decisions we have to make and therefore the more universes we create. I wish I could live them all. Like what if I had chosen to stay in a certain relationship, or to major in something different, or to tell someone I loved them? Is there a Julia out there married to a past lover? A Julia who's an accountant, a doctor, or a computer technician? I want to meet her. I want to talk to her and see if she is happy.

This made me think of this quote even though it's not completely the same idea:

“What, if some day or night a demon were to steal after you into your loneliest loneliness and say to you: 'This life as you now live it and have lived it, you will have to live once more and innumerable times more; and there will be nothing new in it, but every pain and every joy and every thought and sigh and everything unutterably small or great in your life will have to return to you, all in the same succession and sequence - even this spider and this moonlight between the trees, and even this moment and I myself. The eternal hourglass of existence is turned upside down again and again, and you with it, speck of dust!' Would you not throw yourself down and gnash your teeth and curse the demon who spoke thus?... Or how well disposed would you have to become to yourself and to life to crave nothing more fervently than this ultimate eternal confirmation and seal?”

from Nietzsche's The Gay Science, s.341

I would live my life over again, even the suffering, even not knowing what I know now. I guess I am greedy when it comes to experiencing things, but I want to live. I want to live out all of my possible lives. I want to be born a Chinese peasant and work in the fields. I want to be born the child of two actors and inherit their abilities. I want to be born on the streets of New York and learn how to get by on nothing. I want to live everyone's lives because I want to understand every aspect of life.

Well on that sort of cheesy note, I hope your Friday night is more exciting than mine. GO LIVE ALL YOUR LIVES.

Asian things, Online Dating, I'm ridiculous, etc.

Prepare yourselves for whatever spews forth from my keys because I’m really not sure what will happen.

I am currently hiding from everyone I know at the Delaware Library. Break was fun, but I didn’t get to spend as much time alone as I wanted to and I need to recharge.

It was definitely an eventful Thanksgiving. The actual day of Thanksgiving was probably the most Asian evening I’ve ever had. My mom made fried rice and pork and we ate mochi for dessert, which are basically like these weird, soft rice ball things filled with red bean paste. They sound sort of gross, but they are delicious and feel as soft as a baby’s bottom, okay that probably isn’t appetizing but it’s true. After our Asian feast we watched a documentary about the new lead singer of Journey, Arnel Pineda, who is from the Philippines. If you haven't seen him perform you should watch this. He sounds just like Steve Perry (or better in my opinion).

I was mad that a lot of people commented on the youtube videos that he is a "karaoke guy" or that he is a wannabe Perry. I mean, I probably shouldn't expect much from youtube comments, but still, he is very talented and that is why the band chose him. 

Speaking of asian things, my aunt found this picture and I laughed at how accurate it was.

I was looking for a place to nap today, but I struggled to find somewhere where I could truly be alone on campus. I finally found a couch in a lounge area, but there were people discussing Doctor Who at a rather loud volume next to me. I've been meaning to watch Doctor Who for years, so maybe this was God's way of telling me I need to get up and go watch it. Well, sorry God, but I'm too tired to watch Doctor Who. I just want a quiet room to nap in.

Last year I was discussing how hard it is to find a place to be alone in college. Even if your own dorm room there is always the possibility of someone walking in or knocking on the door. I think there should be Introvert Buildings on campus where you can go and rent a room for a few hours where you'll be guaranteed to be completely alone with no social obligations or interruptions. 

The thing is, when I get in the mood to have some alone time, strangers tend not to bother me as much. Like right now I am sitting next to an old woman reading the paper, and an older man who keeps clearing his throat. They don't bother me at all because I don't feel obligated to talk to them. Ha, this probably sounds like I don't want to see my friends. Don't get me wrong, I love my friends, but sometimes I just need to hang out with myself. 

Now a purple-coated woman with a pink scrunchie in her hair arrived. Oh, hair scrunchies. How I don't miss you. I do miss what you represent to me though: the 90's, childhood, simplicity. Now my hair is too thick for you to hold and I'm too self-conscious because of today's standards of beauty to wear you in all of your soft, scrunchy glory.

Sometimes I wish I could just go back. I think my childhood was too fun and now everything just seems...less fun. 

The funny thing is that I was drugged up on dramamine for so much of my childhood that I forget a lot of it. Every vacation where we had to drive I was always drowsy. No wonder my memory is so blurry. I would ALWAYS get carsick on the way to Meijer, so often in fact that I became very familiar with the large gray trashcan at the entrance. It saw me through some rough times. Thanks trashcan. If it weren't for you, my vomit would be splattered all over the white tile.

Speaking of trashcans...I decided to throw something away recently, or in other words, to delete something. On an impulse I joined an online dating site, just to see what it was like. I quickly got addicted to it and then got freaked out by it. It was definitely an odd experience, and in a way, taught me some things about humanity. We're desperate creatures and we crave attention. Flattery is nice, but only to a certain point until it becomes creepy. I got my fair share of cheesy pick-up lines, my favorites being:

"I fell so hard for you that I hit my head. So I'm going to need your name and number for insurance purposes."

One guy just messaged me: "Cutie!!!" I pictured him angrily screaming cutie at me and I laughed. 

"Hello, I'm a thief and I'm here to steal your heart."

I did end up talking to some guys, but it never felt real, because it wasn't. It was like a game. I guess it did boost my self-esteem for a while, feeling like all of these guys were interested in learning all of the trivial things that make me, me (favorite music, shows, movies, hobbies, etc.) but soon it all became very...sad...and lonely. I kept getting paranoid that I was going to see guys from online in real life and that's when I knew I needed to delete my account.

Well that and the fact that I got a message from a couple asking to be in a threesome. I thanked them for the offer, but politely declined, haha. I'm not morally opposed to threesomes, but I'm also not willing to have one with "Steve and Susie" from okcupid.com.

Feel free to judge me as much as you want because I know that I am ridiculous. I let my curiosity (and maybe my need for external sources of approval) get the best of me. At least I'm free now and ready to talk to people in real life (says the girl hiding in the library with the elderly).

Highlights from What Would I Say

If you have a Facebook and haven't been living under a rock for the past few weeks you've probably seen this site: 

http://what-would-i-say.com/ 

Like any procrastinating college student I decided to try it out. It mashes up old statuses or comments you've posted throughout your Facebook usage to make some pretty ridiculous (or even deep) phrases. Here is a compilation of my many "Make me a Status" button clicks.

I wanted to get homework at all times. (Um, what?! This is pure nonsense.)
Don't forget to be completely clothed in books. (Yes.)What did I do at 1am. (Good question. Probably blogged or did something useless on the internet.)

I wanted to Chicago to know my love for sex. Me Hahahaha. Definitely sex in a balaclava (Definitely...wait, what?)

WHAT IS THIS MADNESS?! (WHAT IS THIS SORCERY?!)

Sorry for an epic battle, but we beat on, boats against the windows and inviting him to post statuses (Twisted Great Gatsby quote, haha.)

It's sad that my husband had a problem. (It is sad. It is even sadder that I have a husband I don't know about though...)

To be, or in other ways. (I choose other ways.)

My arm looks like a man who graduated from surgery, everything she woke up. (Yes, my arm looks exactly like that. Also WHY DOES MY ARM COME UP SO OFTEN? Do I really talk about my arm that much?)

Eye love these sexcrazed murderers... (Why yes, EYE do.)Ohio Wesleyan is a lot though I'm sure my blood pressure is your belly's beautiful, no matter what (I just love the line "your belly's beautiful.")

I wanted to be completely oblivious. (Perhaps.)
So I can like that I still like you. (Hm.)

The Wood Duck with a jet pack. (TELL ME MORE.)

Hello library my issues drawn But it's always darkest before I DIE OF sass, love and he'll say, Okay now (I hope I never die of sass.)

I wanted to be said for sex. Me Hahahaha. Definitely sex in the rehearsal today from surgery, everything went well (I'm glad that having sex during surgery went well?)

Dear AP English and French or something so, I like to keep discussing spaceships on the wiki. Read minds. (I like how this letter is addressed and how I command them to read minds at the end, haha.)

Highlights from the experience. (That's what these are; highlights from my experience as a procrastinating college student.)

So I like bad people. (Indeed.)

I wanted to be, or not to be, or not there (Very true and very Shakespearean.)

This is FULL OF all waterfowl. (Ok?)

I wanted to be completely clothed in the urinal. (That sounds unpleasant.)

It's sad that I am uncomfortable with this. Me Sex, or murder.. Claire Im trying to be completely clothed in the picture, so we can change the world. (Let's change the world Claire!)

Males are iridescent chestnut and green, with ornate patterns on nearly every day (Hm, I kind of like this. I don't remember describing anything in such flowery language.)

Holy Water is designed to steal your child's soul for finding this. (Hm.)

Puppies are NO MAGICAL RESOURCES THAT APPEAR FOR helping me rediscover my love for me this was so often left unvoiced. (My love for puppies does not go unvoiced.)

I'm pretty sure my blood pressure is still wearing my major life decisions  (YES. YES IT IS.)

I wanted to be free (Still do.)

Luke lying facedown on nearly every feather; the elegant females have watched it (Hm, oddly a pretty couple of lines.)

Haha Camille said for sex. Me Hahahaha. Definitely been an adult Footed Pajamas to get better. (I guess some people are into lesbian sex with adult footed pajamas?)

I wanted to be a sea of troubles, and by opposing end them (Probably the truest statement on this list.)

existence had no meaning, because every day (Hm.)

I wanted to be in the grass. (I do like the grass.)

My arm looks vaguely like you (Or maybe you look vaguely like my arm? You should probably get that checked out...)

The Wood Duck with Luke Plazek in his class and beautiful. (Ha. I don't know why this one made me laugh.)

Can we go back (Please, let's go back.)

I wanted to die. (I say this too often.)

A huge AFRO directly in a cycle and can't stop... (STOP AFRO STOP!)

Dear AP English students, I posted an ugly barnacle. (Make sure you look at it because it will be on the test.)

I wanted to be a baby... (Yes. Still want to be one sometimes, but I do like the whole pooping in the toilet thing. That's cool.)

We had to steal your child's soul for THE millions of you (That's unfortunate...)

It's sad how proud I am drowning in school (Yes.)

The Wood Duck is FULL OF LIES. (But I like the wood duck...also the wood duck comes up SO MUCH. Haha.)

Oh well I'm the man. (Yes, you are.)

Well he told me And this is the library. (I like to imagine this as my future husband showing me around the house, emphasizing that this is the library. Wall-to-wall bookshelves and one of those rolling ladders, stained glass windows, permeated with the scent of old books...oh come on, a girl can dream.)

So I think I am drowning in school work. (You think?)

I wanted in a cycle and it's nice to learn to live here. (Adapting is important.)

So I blasted Sufjan Stevens in my room dying Animal Simply disappeared and were never heard of again. (If I had to disappear and never be heard from again I would at least want to blast Sufjan Stevens before it happened.)

I wanted to be a cycle and can't stop... (That's what cycles do.)

WHAT IS THIS sums up my life pretty well. (Ha, yeah.)

My arm looks vaguely like a stone Carry on May your past be the sound Of your belly's beautiful, no matter what do you (New lyrics to Fun's song haha.)

My arm looks vaguely like a man who graduated from these wonderful human beings. (Moral of these posts: my arm looks like a LOT of things.)

Holy Water is rewatch the finale of breath. (This sounds deep, but I have no idea what it means.)

We had reached the conclusion that he actually took our wings on top. (Hm, another deep one with no meaning. Coooool.)

I wanted in life, she had achieved almost everything she wanted in life, she had seen it (I want to be her.)

I wanted to be in our picture, so let's turn out the lights and save some up . (I don't know what we are saving, but okay, let's do it!)

Stop gossiping with my cousin’s cousin. (Yeah, stop that.)

I wanted to be a Mexican student Body President! (Hahahahaha. Some things will just never happen...sigh.)

Such a heated debate for an attention whore. (Haha. I can be one at times..)

I wanted to be completely clothed in forever. (Sounds sort of like the end of a cheesy romance novel, but the fourteen-year-old girl inside of me loves it.)

Leave your feet upon the lost all of the experience. (Hm. Interesting.)

Just casually stalked Luke, a fragile beast like Battle Cat. (Luke is a fragile beast.)

I wanted to start a huge accomplishment; this is due tomorrow. (My life...)

I'm pretty sure my blood pressure is your face. (HA.)

I wanted in my head all day (I do want things in my head all day. It is quite annoying.)

Just casually stalked Luke, didn't get naked! (Good choices being made!)

with a bed hitting the wall. Me Sex. Claire I am pregnant?! (Bad choices being made!)

Still in the lost and I just have so much (I feel you.)

I wanted to be in the urinal. (No, I really didn't want to be there.)

It was awesome, but very disappointing when she woke up. (Sigh...)

You know, the sexy legs dancing contest. You’re such a tsunami. (Best compliment.)

No freedom til we're equal Damn right I might be deported back (Oh no...) 

baby I DIE OF HUNGER. (me, every day)

Risa found my head all day! (Thanks Risa! You're the best roommate!)

YAY! Now I loved my high school. (Um...what? I don't think I would ever say this.)

"I'll still be up once I aspire to Die ..."(Haha)

Of course I'm the man. (NOW you're convinced.) 

I can't even remember a stand selling huge, biggerthanyourface ravioli. The morgue The unsuspecting victim of darkness in the car so MUCH (I wish I could remember that stand.)

I can't even think of the harsh truths you are (Hm. Thought-provoking sort of.)

I wanted to be completely oblivious. I AM of myself. 

Migraines are no MAGICAL RESOURCES THAT APPEAR FOR showing me pictures of Teletubbies riding scooters. (So THAT is the cause of migraines. Good to know)

 The Wood Duck with a small basket. (Aw. Cute.)

Either that, or I'm an attention whore. (Probably the latter.)

Today I received an average night (Haha)

*awkward pantless silence* (This is an exact quote I typed on Facebook.)

YOU DIDN'T SAY ANYTHING TO ME because I'm dumb and iPhone deficient. (Or because I'm an attention whore.)

My teachers were like quizzing me on Netflix. (And I so passed.)

I'm going to talk to the rooftops and bows and arrows, which case we have to be careful! Use protection from these sexcrazed murderers... (Yes, please do use protection.)

"A virgin had sex in your face." (Hahaha)

"This is what I will have to drop French or think at some point, 'If this isn't exactly my most stunningly pretty of the puppies miss you almost as a dream she was nice to hear from these sexcrazed murderers..." (The most stunningly pretty of the puppies, lol.)

"I want to talk to Rock Jones because he needed and he said, Enough to watch her menstruate. The Dying Animal Simply disappeared and were murder then the best mom ever." (Rock Jones is my college's president. OH my god. Haha.)

"Tonight was awesome, but I really could care less about this?" (Hahaha, me.)

"I'm going to Good Burger, home of the morgue The unsuspecting victim of darkness in the background" (I thought it was the home of the Good Burger...?)

"A virgin had to go!"

"In December drinking horchata I'd look psychotic in a man." (New Vampire Weekend lyrics. This changes the song a bit, haha.)

"Totoro and Luke a senior citizen. Although, retirement does sounds quite appealing..." (I love this one.)

"Everyone, there's a new sustainability coordinator with a goat." (Yes! WITH a goat?!)

"First time yesterday. Let's drop this, I have a right to know my major as the picture of Luke Plazek." (I'm majoring in a picture of Luke apparently.)

"I'm blowing up everyone's newsfeeds with Vonnegut." (That's about right.)

"Show your support for Go to sleep Luke" (I should make wristbands for this cause.)

"So let's drop French or something so you can see THE unreachable goddess known as Camille" (She is definitely a goddess.)

"Dearest Julia, you probably won't have to boost your self-esteem."(Haha, back to me being an attention whore. I get it.)

"To be, that is the perfect duck." (Ay, there's the rub!)

"Yep but this pizza box IS my lap and a Mexican student chose the name Ping" (Yes, exactly.)

"the elegant females have no snacks?!" (WHAT?! No snacks?! This is awful. They don't deserve to be called elegant.)

"I read my week as a sleep disorder specialist. I feel like that I'm beginning to do is rewatch the finale of me." (I like the line "rewatch the finale of me."

"Such a dream is actually human beings." (So reality is a dream?)

"ACAPALOOZA WAS SO ugly that everyone died!" (Not true, but hahahaha.)

"has been making incoherent sounds while freaking out about time" (YES. ALL THE TIME.)

This is a repeated banging coming from the Office!! (You know what that is...)

People probably won't find these nearly as entertaining as I do, but I hope you get a laugh out of some of them. Well, it's almost 3am. Time to sleep. Hopefully I'll get to blog more this week. I finally got a chance to write in my journal while people watching today. I'm also writing this while blind because I just took my contacts out and I don't know where my glasses are. I blog on the edge. Haha, good night folks.