Prepare yourselves for whatever spews forth from my keys
because I’m really not sure what will happen.
I am currently hiding from everyone I know at the
Delaware Library. Break was fun, but I didn’t get to spend as much time alone
as I wanted to and I need to recharge.
It was definitely an eventful Thanksgiving. The actual day
of Thanksgiving was probably the most Asian evening I’ve ever had. My mom
made fried rice and pork and we ate mochi for dessert, which are basically like
these weird, soft rice ball things filled with red bean paste. They sound sort
of gross, but they are delicious and feel as soft as a baby’s bottom, okay that
probably isn’t appetizing but it’s true. After our Asian feast we watched a
documentary about the new lead singer of Journey, Arnel Pineda, who is from the Philippines. If you haven't seen him perform you should watch this. He sounds just like Steve Perry (or better in my opinion).
I was mad that a lot of people commented on the youtube videos that he is a "karaoke guy" or that he is a wannabe Perry. I mean, I probably shouldn't expect much from youtube comments, but still, he is very talented and that is why the band chose him.
Speaking of asian things, my aunt found this picture and I laughed at how accurate it was.
I was looking for a place to nap today, but I struggled to find somewhere where I could truly be alone on campus. I finally found a couch in a lounge area, but there were people discussing Doctor Who at a rather loud volume next to me. I've been meaning to watch Doctor Who for years, so maybe this was God's way of telling me I need to get up and go watch it. Well, sorry God, but I'm too tired to watch Doctor Who. I just want a quiet room to nap in.
Last year I was discussing how hard it is to find a place to be alone in college. Even if your own dorm room there is always the possibility of someone walking in or knocking on the door. I think there should be Introvert Buildings on campus where you can go and rent a room for a few hours where you'll be guaranteed to be completely alone with no social obligations or interruptions.
The thing is, when I get in the mood to have some alone time, strangers tend not to bother me as much. Like right now I am sitting next to an old woman reading the paper, and an older man who keeps clearing his throat. They don't bother me at all because I don't feel obligated to talk to them. Ha, this probably sounds like I don't want to see my friends. Don't get me wrong, I love my friends, but sometimes I just need to hang out with myself.
Now a purple-coated woman with a pink scrunchie in her hair arrived. Oh, hair scrunchies. How I don't miss you. I do miss what you represent to me though: the 90's, childhood, simplicity. Now my hair is too thick for you to hold and I'm too self-conscious because of today's standards of beauty to wear you in all of your soft, scrunchy glory.
Sometimes I wish I could just go back. I think my childhood was too fun and now everything just seems...less fun.
The funny thing is that I was drugged up on dramamine for so much of my childhood that I forget a lot of it. Every vacation where we had to drive I was always drowsy. No wonder my memory is so blurry. I would ALWAYS get carsick on the way to Meijer, so often in fact that I became very familiar with the large gray trashcan at the entrance. It saw me through some rough times. Thanks trashcan. If it weren't for you, my vomit would be splattered all over the white tile.
Speaking of trashcans...I decided to throw something away recently, or in other words, to delete something. On an impulse I joined an online dating site, just to see what it was like. I quickly got addicted to it and then got freaked out by it. It was definitely an odd experience, and in a way, taught me some things about humanity. We're desperate creatures and we crave attention. Flattery is nice, but only to a certain point until it becomes creepy. I got my fair share of cheesy pick-up lines, my favorites being:
"I fell so hard for you that I hit my head. So I'm going to need your name and number for insurance purposes."
One guy just messaged me: "Cutie!!!" I pictured him angrily screaming cutie at me and I laughed.
"Hello, I'm a thief and I'm here to steal your heart."
I did end up talking to some guys, but it never felt real, because it wasn't. It was like a game. I guess it did boost my self-esteem for a while, feeling like all of these guys were interested in learning all of the trivial things that make me, me (favorite music, shows, movies, hobbies, etc.) but soon it all became very...sad...and lonely. I kept getting paranoid that I was going to see guys from online in real life and that's when I knew I needed to delete my account.
Well that and the fact that I got a message from a couple asking to be in a threesome. I thanked them for the offer, but politely declined, haha. I'm not morally opposed to threesomes, but I'm also not willing to have one with "Steve and Susie" from okcupid.com.
Feel free to judge me as much as you want because I know that I am ridiculous. I let my curiosity (and maybe my need for external sources of approval) get the best of me. At least I'm free now and ready to talk to people in real life (says the girl hiding in the library with the elderly).
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