This is my daughter Suicide and poop is divine.

So the other night my friend Luke and I were talking about random stuff, some of which was amusing and some of which made absolutely no sense at all. At one point in our conversation we pondered a rather odd "what if." What if instead of naming children after other important people in our lives we named them after the important person's cause of death? This is my son Dysentery. Oh and here is my daughter Suicide and my other son Old Age. (I don't know why but the genders immediately came to me when I thought of the names.) At the time we both cracked up at how horrible, morbid, and inappropriate it would be to name a child Suicide. Of course, it was about 4am when we had this discussion so our capacity for saneness (which is low to begin with) was about the size of a thimble.

A few nights ago, as I was drifting off to sleep I had this strange thought about the saying "holy shit" that just had to be written down. Instead of sleeping, like I should have been doing (as it was past 3am), I couldn't stop thinking about why we say holy shit. Why is it that when we don't believe something we begin to praise shit? Is it because it makes a good fertilizer? Is it simply the strong contrast between two completely opposite things that makes the saying so potent? It was such a strong, persistent thought in my mind that I had to get out of bed and blindly shuffle around my room to find my phone. Even with my lack of contacts, and my -4.75 vision I was able to locate it and make this very important note on my iPhone, "Holy shit- when poop becomes divine." This is what smart phones are for ladies and gentlemen. Forget texting or taking pictures of friends and family. The true smart phone user knows that smart phones are for noting random thoughts about poop and its divinity.